30, 06, 2016
finding the balance between not allowing someone to drain you entirely of your compassion/kindness/positivity, yet still being willing to pour yourself into others without being refilled in return
thats one of the trickiest things in the entire world for me these days. I love being positivity in people’s lives and I’m really not trying to brag by saying that – its something i truly enjoy doing. even when people don’t want to hear it, I’ll annoy them with it before i let negativity win out. I think I enjoy it so much because I seriously believe that attitude is everything and it can truly make almost all the difference in how we look at and live out each second and when I see people allowing themselves to wallow in negative attitudes that are destroying their lives, I want to drown out the negativity asap every time.
so down to the point of why I’m writing this: how much pouring out is too much? how much emptying myself of positivity is hurtful to me? and at the end of the day is it selfish to even be thinking that way?
(and I don’t even know if you can “correctly” answer any of those questions)
I do know that by pouring our hearts out into people we aren’t doing anything that God hasn’t already ahead of time given us the grace and strength to do. especially if we’re asking for ample supply of grace, love, positivity, thankfulness to give! but I also know from personal experience feeling like you aren’t being refilled in return by the ones you’re filling up can drain you past the point of empty, into negativity – the exact attitude you were trying to keep someone else from feeling becomes yours..
and when that starts happening I think we’ve got to ask ourselves this question: what kind of soil is this seed of positivity/love/etc. being sown on and is the heart its been sown on ready and willing to water and nourish it?
I don’t think the only seeds we sow as Christians are gospel seeds – I think we sometimes find ourselves scattering seeds of love, hope, mercy, peace, joy all over the place. and those seeds are all of course components of the gospel, but I’m talking seeds of straight up love on a bad day that, if sown on good soil, have the potential of growing into Christians or at least bringing people to the point of seriously wondering about the reason for the hope thats in us.
but I think we sometimes, or at least I, think that we’ve got to wait around and keep emptying ourselves of life-source like we have some kind of control of the increase when in reality, we don’t.. that’s God’s job. and thats when we’ve got to do some serious meditating on verses like 1 corinthians 3:7:
“It’s not important who does the planting, or who does the watering. What’s important is that God makes the seed grow.” (NLT)
so at the end of the day I think we can absolutely be confident that God will refill us of every ounce spent on planting all kinds of seeds, but He will expect us to step back and trust Him for growth. thats where crazy faith comes in – and I’m glad it comes in there because in our frailty we just can’t handle that kind of responsibility. no matter how badly we want to stand by, He tells us to step back.
p.s. this is one of those things I’m writing mostly because I need to “hear it” from myself (if that even makes sense), but I hope it helps my fellow feeling emptied and over-poured people out there. so thankful for those that are willing to pour out, and especially those that see the need for refilling and take it upon themselves to make it happen – we’re all in it together just like He intended.