27, 06, 2016
a few years ago I was told:
“write your plans in pencil because God has an eraser”
I’m sure you’d agree with me that that’s QUALITY advice and that all of us could definitely benefit from it if we practiced it in our lives, but I’ve just recently noticed that I far too often find myself writing my plans in pen. sometimes even in sharpie. I’ve noticed that I not only write my plans in permanence, but I also sit back after “writing” them and expect God, the Creator of the universe, to abide by them and watch over my life to make sure everything goes the way I want. super selfish I know! I’m sure you would then agree that not only is that crazy and selfish, but it’s also not Biblical. theres no problem with having ideas and dreams regarding where we want to go in life, in fact those are essential, but the danger comes when we start getting an its my way or the highway kind of attitude with God – finding balance between the two is hard. but I think that getting ahead of ourselves and making plans that become solidified in our heads and hearts is dangerous because it can turn into a way of living that is lacking in faith and not only doubting God’s capability, but the perfection of His timing as well. that kind of thinking is literally taking psalm 139:16 –
“..every day of my life was recorded in your book; every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.”
– and saying in response “no thanks, God. if its okay I’d just like to take some white out real quick and record something totally different because I know what I want and need way better than You did while You were forming my body in my mother’s womb and knitting together the very fabric of my being.”
my realization in a lack of faith came from a longing for “clarity” in my life. I don’t know what it is about growing up and quickly approaching adulthood, but it makes you long so desperately for some kind of control of the future and its in that desperation that you start making plans because your desire for some kind of sense of control is so strong. in the moment that you think you may have your life remotely figured out, you get to sit in peace for a few seconds amongst all of the responsibilities and other uncertainties you face. its a peace we all want and I’d venture to say we all need.
but life is full of curveballs, and its a painful thing when our sharpie plans get smudged or often times even crumpled up and thrown in the trash right before our eyes when we least expect it – and its in the sadness of that moment when things don’t go our way that we’re tempted to pick that pen back up and in our frustration start scribbling away again – but why do we silence the voice of God asking us to trust Him all throughout His word? why don’t we trust Him enough to write in pencil? it is so hard to trust that even the bad and ugly things can be used for good, but it is safe to trust in a Father like ours.
this morning at 1 am I came across Isaiah 40:31 and not recognizing it as a verse I knew I decided to look it up. upon looking it up I realized I recognized it, but this time I read it in a very different light than the light I’ve been reading it in for most of my life and I’ve gotta say God has a cool way of revealing truths at the perfect time! so that verse says:
“But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.”
I love the sound of renewed strength and I love even more that He knows just how much I so often need it!
the amount of strength it takes to wait on the Lord and give Him your plans terrifies me and I’ll be honest I find myself majority of the time not having near enough strength being the control freak that I am to let Him work, especially when it comes to trusting Him with my future relationships/potential marriage plans – good grief, but thats the point, we don’t have that strength – or at least I know I don’t – so that’s why He’s going to give it to us. our good Father has got our backs, our worried hearts if we just decide to trust and be still in the waiting. so teach me Lord to wait. teach me to trust that You will lovingly renew every ounce of strength I have to use to say “no” to the mediocre, scribbled plans and “yes please” to your very best in its due time and season.
so heres to the renewal of a worn out spirit that’s lived far too many moments faithless and furiously. heres to expectantly, joyously, faithfully waiting even in the silence. heres to trusting that He’s writing plans that are His version of beautiful.
I think George MacDonald said it best:
“I would rather be what God chose to make me than the most glorious creature that I could think of; for to have been thought about, born in God’s thought, and then made by God, is the dearest, grandest, and most precious thing in all thinking.”