28, 03, 2016
if you asked me the question “what bothers you?” I would quickly respond with the following:
“being told that I’m going to regret choosing to spend my time differently than the way others are choosing to spend theirs.”
today I was bothered because I was faced with that statement. I was told that I was going to “regret” not being involved in the same activity a lot of other people were choosing to be involved in. I was told that I was going to regret not putting my time and energy towards applying for a popular position on my campus. I was told that I was going to absolutely regret it, no questions asked.
some may think it’s ridiculous that I could let such a seemingly small statement that was said in passing bother me so much – but it stung and it stuck with me. the person that spoke that sentence left me to deal with the questioning of my decisions alone.
that statement makes me angry because it assumes, before even letting me share about the places I’m putting my time instead, that I’m going to regret not going with the flow and putting my time where they think I should be putting it. because you know what? I’m putting my time, heart, mind, soul, etc. into other things that make me happy and that’s all that matters. I’m putting my energy, that is limited these days, towards other causes you didn’t even give me a chance to tell you about. maybe the things I’m applying for and the causes I’m supporting and the way I’m choosing to live isn’t your cup of tea and maybe it looks a whole lot different then the way you’re living looks, but please don’t assume that I’m going to have regrets for living the way I’m living and try to make me regret my choices. don’t assume that I’ll be feeling the sting of regret for choosing to mold and shape my life into something shaped differently than yours.
please know I’m not trying to push the idea that we should all just live however we want to with no regard to consequences or the idea that if we see someone going down a bad road we shouldn’t step in and try to help them. all I’m trying to say is please don’t try to push on others the idea that your life is some kind of standard of happiness and living fully and that at the end of the day they’re going to regret not choosing to do it all the way you did. its just not fair to make the assumption that someone’s life isn’t going to amount to a life well-lived because they went down a different road than you.
regret is real and I can say one thing with absolute certainty:
it’s the feeling you’ll feel if you try to meet everyone else’s standards of happiness and it comes when we pursue anything other than our God-given passions all in the name of fitting in.
so please don’t tell me I’ll regret being anything other than myself, because I refuse to believe that my life would’ve amounted to something more beautiful if I had only listened to something other than my heart, my head, and the voice of the One who wrote all the days of my life down before I even started living.
in the end, if we’ve unapologetically gone our own way I don’t think we’ll regret a single thing.
so have the guts and give yourself the grace to step out alone.